i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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