hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
