she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Found the puke drawer
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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