ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
