I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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