So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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