remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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