in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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