is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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