make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
