woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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