Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
