I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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