so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
