did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
