That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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