so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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