oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
