With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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