SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
