i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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