I can tuck mytits in my pants
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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