windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
