What a fucking waste of an outfit
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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