i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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