i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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