belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
