you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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