Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
