Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
