What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
