Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
