btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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