I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
