they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
