I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I need help removing her.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
