I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love you. Go after that dick
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
