you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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