we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
