thus making me awesome and them whores
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
