You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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