They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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