I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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