You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
