you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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