i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
