this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
