Whod you bang
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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