I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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