have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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